Why Buddha Touched the Earth

So first things first. Sex is never an easy topic and complications are always included, no matter if you are ready or not. But after being born into this world there are always complications. You can't avoid them.
I've got my citations muddled up, so I'll have to recite this phrase freely and without the author, but it went something like this:

Our first mistake was to be born into this world. That's something we can't change anymore. Now we have to try to make the best out of it.

So the first thing is that we are here. We are in this complex and complicated world and should try to make the best out of it.
You say that sex is a minefield with all its possible suffering attached to it. The problem is that it's not only that way with sex, but basically with everything we do. Suffering permeates everything, so how do you escape suffering? The very basic question of Buddhism. How that works I cannot say. But the notion that one should ask oneself before having sex, wether the act will in the end delay the enlightenment of all beings or be a tiny step towards it, strikes me as really odd.

I'm not saying that one should jump into bed with every stranger without thinking about it at all.
I'm also not advocating celebracy.
Actually I really don't know a reasonable rule of when to refuse or accept ones sexual advances or when it is okay to start a more serious relationship with someone.
I actually wouldn't want to say a word more than what is already written in the Buddhist classics, which comes down to not misusing sexuality. So just try not to cause harm. That's enough and difficult enough to keep by itself. Just to say a word more is to possibly go to far in your restraint, just a word less is to cause suffering.

Let's be honest for a moment: Even if I start thinking about the fate of all sentinent beings at such a strange time, the decision of wether an encounter with a person will result in a sexual relationship or not ultimatley will depend on my feelings at that moment. When it feels good I'll probably deem this relationship beneficial for the end of all suffering and take the next step. If, on the other hand, it feels like a "bad idea", as it often does, I'll deem it a "bad idea" in any case (and probably everyone of us knows that following up on such "bad ideas" generally brings about disaster and mayhem... bad karma in action).

So if you really had the fate of all sentinent beings in the back of your head when turning the cute Japanese punk down, I have to bow my head. If not, why not just say that you had a "bad idea"-kind of feeling, noticed it and acted on it? That, in my humble opinion, is spirituality at its best: Being aware of the situation and acting appropriatley. Just so simple.

Regards

Wolf